Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Been a long time - お久しぶりですね

I haven't updated this blog in ages, almost a year. I'm sure no one reads it but oh well, it is more for myself anyways, a wall off which to bounce ideas. Here are some of my thoughts on Zen Bhuddism.

I'm drawn to Zen even though all people who know me will tell you that I'm a very logical person. Zen on the other hand serves to break out of logic. I find I am too logical and would like to escape from the trap a bit if I could because it is indeed something which paints one into a corner on occasion.

Zen also shows that words are just words and have no innate meaning. Aside from a few symbols which seem to be universal (if there are any) Zen says that the answer to the question of kouan of "what is the sound of one hand clapping?" is not a logical one. The answer "it is the sound of air being pushed by the hand," is not wrong but it is not right either. An answer of, "it is the sound of a tree falling in the forest with no one there," is more correct as is, "the sun rising in the west." Zen is not logical and its words trascend their usual meaning. This Zen dialogue or 禅問答 (zenmondou) in Japanese also means incomprehensible dialog for to the lay person, it seems not only without logic but completely illogical and nonsensical.

In Japanese I've found cases where English cannot be translated to Japanese or vice versa. Onomatopoeic words are different for cases which should be the same. The Japanese can say "meow" but for the sound of a cat they say ニャー "nyaa" instead (which reminds me that Chewey is outside and I must let him in). Dogs say ワン ワン "wan wan" instead of "woof woof" even though I know of no dog that says "wan wan". Some of this may be attributed to the phonetic differences between the languages but not all of it. It really does show that words are just symbols, not tokens that can be universally used for understanding. If they cannot be universally used then perhaps they should never be used to convey meaning. This is Zen dialogue. When it is understood along with the breaking out of dualities (limiting the world as right and wrong, you and me, true and false), out of logic, when the self is no longer seen as unique you are said to be awakened, 悟り or satori which is the purpose of Zen. Read some D.T. Suzuki if you are interested.

More basic Buddhist ideals also interest me. I've written before how things were much simpler when I was just a student in an apartment with almost no possessions. Ironically, this is a very Bhuddist way of thinking and existing. The Buddha said that all suffering comes from cravings. That even when you satisfy the cravings the satisfaction is short lived; once you have something you'll want something more. I agree with this; there is never enough money and having possessions only makes you worry about them and insure them and maintain them. Many days it does not seem worth it. The overall ideas of living without cravings, without suffering from these cravings (which are the root of all wars, though ironically the Buddhists have endorsed wars and assassinated people throughout history), of being kind to everyone, of being honest at all times, of avoiding lust and other bad qualities are all very appealing to me. Some are very much against our nature, or against mine at least so I struggle with them daily. I have hoped that Buddhism might help me with them though I may be too logical to follow through with it.

Buddhism is overall a very reasonable religion, if it even is a religion at its heart (it certainly is practiced as a religion by most of its believers). While most consider vegetarianism a part of it, if you give meat to a Buddhist monk he will eat it; he shouldn't kill it himself but that is where their philosphy on life taking ends for the most part. They believe you should not become intoxicated because it leads to bad things and limits your ability to understand the wisdom of Buddhism but they do not ban intoxicating substances outright. I enjoy my whisky so it would be hard for me to follow it if it weren't so reasonable.

Stephen Bachelor's book "Buddhism without Beliefs" (see Chapters, Amazon, et al) is very interesting to me because it gets rid of some of the initial problems I saw with Buddhism. Buddhism also includes the ideas of kharma and reincarnation which are both very Indian and found in Hinduism as well. These ideas are fairly well known, though often in a slightly perverted sense as many people in the west seem to believe in "instant kharma" while it was originally intended as a next life effect. Stephen would remove these from Buddhism saying that they are holdovers from the Indian religion where the Buddha lived and even one who is revered as being so very wise as the Buddha cannot take himself out of his time. He saw suffering in his time, much caused by India's class system and saw a way to break out of it, which was his great wisdom of the time.

I would also argue that like most 'prophets' his writings are in fact the writings of his disciples from generations after his death. Much of it may have been modified to make useful some of the standard aspects of religions which are control. By using kharma and the threat of coming back as a worm in the next world if you are evil, Buddhists are able to convey the same sense of fear as eternal hell and brimstone in Christianity and the usual consequences of other religions. Many organized Buddhist religions believe you are reborn to be a monk in the last one or two of your lives where you still have an individual self. The lay persons, landowners are able perhaps at minimum to only perform one thing to improve their kharma: the giving of alms, especially to the monks. In this way behavior was controlled to be 'good' as per the teachings and as well like other religions the dana, alms or tithe ensured that the monestary like all other churches had a source of income.

The Tibetan monks do a "black hat dance" (which is a bit odd anyways as many other monestaries ban dancing outright) which celebrates the assassination of a lord who was unkind to the monks and others. A monk hid a bow in his robes and killed him. They justified it by saying that the lord was doing more harm to his kharma alive than dead. This kind of thing reeks of the many evils done in the name of god by other religions and serves as another example as to why the idea of kharma is bad as it can be twisted in this way by one of the Buddhist sects considered the most devout of all.

If you remove kharma and reincarnation from the equation as Stephen suggests then it simplifies things quite a bit and even removes Buddhism from the realm of religions. It says you should be good just to be good, just to be unselfish and a problem I have with kharma in Buudhism is thus removed: my problem is that doing something on purpose to improve your kharma is not unselfish; it is selfish. All the stories of people cutting off their own heads to give a poor man the bounty on their head and giving away their own children to childless couples to remove the suffering of others moves from unselfish acts to very selfish ones as they hope to improve their prospects in the next life so they can move onto the perfect selfless state. If you remove this promise of the next life then basic Buddhism simply becomes a nice way of living, going beyond the standard golden rule to one in which you also have suggestions for your own wellbeing. It becomes simply a philosophy and a set of heuristics for daily life which is what most people really want from a religion anyways. A philosphy I can certainly accept as an ideal to strive for.

The Buddha was just a man and did not want to be revered as a demigod or even as a prophet and yet many Buddhist sects chant his name and most of them revere him as a god. They do blessings and weddings, neither of which are from Buddhism but which shows again that people want in a religion a set of standard things, laying out the way they should live in their society. These common themes of religions really show human needs. They need to believe in something more than a man for they themselves are men and they seemingly cannot believe in themselves alone. Nor can they believe in their own rules alone, they need to believe they come from a higher source.

Enough for today I think.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I was born with a silicon spoon in my mouth

When I think about it, I was really fortunate for a child of the seventies as far as computing experiences went. My father was the Head of Computing Services at the Canada Centre for Inland Waters. My first 'computer' was a TI Silent teletype (with thermal printer) connected to a Control Data Cyber mainframe running NOS and later NOS/VE.

I've always had computers around and didn't even consider one for a career until my first year of university when I discovered that chemisty and physics were really just math once you got up to a high level. Not loving calculus, I went for the more practical math of computer science and have never looked back.

Along the way I used many of the earliest forms of networking (BITNET and USENET) and mailing (manual forwarding with the same networks) and online forums (called bulletin board systems or BBSes back then) . I've used CDC and IBM mainframes, UNIX workstations and X terminals from a wide variety of vendors, many different home and personal computers. I can remember when I was very happy to have just two floppy drives and then how ecstatic I was with a 28MB hard drive. Your average toaster or watch has more RAM these days. We've come a long way, baby, but we aren't finished yet.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Business litmus test: eating your own cooking

In my experience, the test of the products a business produces in this navel gazing industry of developing software tools is whether or not the company eats its own cooking. Does a visualization company use its own tools for its employee update meetings? If not, then why not and why isn't it a critical priority item to make sure that the tools are feature rich enough to display what they need to convey and easy enough for the executives and their assistants to use in preparing their talk? Why is it easier for them to use PowerPoint?

Similarily, with software tool companies I find it questionable if a company doesn't use its own tools for development. If you have a specification tool, why aren't you using it? Why are your developers still using other tools to write them up?

If you won't use your own tools then no one else will. While good sales people can sell anything, shelfware is never good. Getting people to use the tools is the only way to ensure a long lasting product from a long lasting company.

Just the opinion of this software developer...

Third strike at writing attempts

Once again my writings just haven't worked. Decent ideas -- if there's an SF paragraph writing contest, let me know... but nothing will develop properly even into a short story. Once again I wonder, does that mean it was the right thing to take a B.Sc. instead of a B.A. or would I have become a writer if I'd been an english major? Now I suppose I'll never know but I believe I chose the right track.

Golf, canoeing, fishing, rockets, Japanese

Looking back that was a great summer. My oldest child is my five year old son and he's now old enough to really do stuff with him instead of just supervising him. This year we enjoyed many things I enjoyed as a child and it was great to do it more as father and son than as babysitter and child.

Like when I went fishing with my Dad, I still spend so much time helping my son out that I don't catch anything but that's OK. Harrison enjoyed catching bass, sunfish, catfish and perch this year up in North Bay and out near Picton where we also had fun canoeing and for a five year old he does great in a canoe. We had our 20 month old and my wife in the canoe as well which didn't work quite as well as our little girl just couldn't sit still. Luckily my father's old St. Maurice canoe is wide and stable so nothing dramatic occurred.

I've been flying model rockets since I was ten years old and Harrison now enjoys it as well. I helped him build a couple of rockets this year which we flew many times. He's been lucky so far, no losses, while I lost a rocket, The Pegasus, that I've been flying for 23 years but I guess after 17 flights it doesn't owe me anything. Too bad I didn't have any B engines left that day; the C6-7 was just too much for the wind. The AIM-54S landed in the Speed River on the same day with a D12-3 but was recovered by a couple of boys who probably planned on taking it home but handed it right over when I walked up and claimed it.

Golf is another thing that I'm now able to do with my son, not just at the driving range but on a course as well. He doesn't last 18 holes of course but we have fun on most of the front 9 anyways. Kid club sets at Play it Again are under $40 so the equipment is cheap at least and so far most courses have let him play for free which is nice. Boys love to hit things and for once I'm not yelling at him about it so he really does enjoy it.

I've always wanted to learn Japanese and have had my father's old Teach Yourself Japanese book for years which I brought out now and again. With some work done on a Japanese version of software last year and this year I really swung for the fences this summer and I've managed to pick up quite a bit of reading skills at Japanese. Speaking I'm sure I'm terrible and anyone who's seen my english handwriting knows kanji calligraphy will never be for me but with a computer I can write fairly well. I've bought a few Japanese books which I'm now struggling through, the originals of some manga I've enjoyed for the past fifteen years, Gun Dream Last Order. See http://www.yukito.com Graphic novels are not a new art form in Japan as their literature has long relied on illustrations to aid in the understanding of a writing form which was borrowed from the Chinese and developed over many centuries. I'm enjoying the material in it's original format and have been enjoying some anime on DVD as well, as most of them allow me to choose the language and whether or not to provide subtitles which is much simpler than old VHS where you had to pick dubbed or subtitled (for some reason more expensive) when you bought.

Overall, a very good summer.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

The only constant is change

This page isn't exactly a diary. I certainly don't use it enough. Still, it is interesting to look back over even a short time and see what has stayed the same and what has not.

I went all gung ho for astronomy in the fall but then abruptly dropped it again. I'll probably get back into it but the new position at work in January and family life realities have made it difficult to be out late into the night with the telescope and CCD camera.

With the nice weather the bicycle and canoe are out again. It is good to be active outside. I still can't bring myself to exercise in a room.

I haven't tried to write any more fiction but I feeling like writing again, both to continue my fictional stories and to write some non-fiction about whisky which seems to be my main hobby these days.

"Whisky List, cooking and drinking with scotch" and "Alcohol for Better Living" are the titles I have in mind for non-fiction.

For fiction I want to continue my stories of the solution to world population crisis, the genetically engineered baby that never grows up. Part of the inspiration for this is my wonderful daughter Halle who has grown up at a more usual rate compared to the accelerated one my son went through. She seems to still be a baby at 15 months compared to Harrison who was walking at 8 months, speaking full sentences and in a real bed by 12 months.

The other fictional story I still want to finish is my story of future space travellers who reduce themselves pretty much to just a brain in a head which can interface with their space ships and temporary bodies to explore the questions of existance, of love emotional and physical and the boundary between, the idea that a kiss is more sensual than other physical acts of love since the others are really about procreation, something which is given up by these bodiless pilots. If only I had the time and aptitude for writing!

Approaching buddhism

Reading back some old posts and old thoughts of mine on how it was much simpler before I had any possessions, it's interesting to see the parallels with buddhism. That is, the "Dukkha: All worldly life is unsatisfactory, disjointed, containing suffering." as mentioned in the wiki page for buddhism, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism

I'm not quite ready to give up my, "...privilege, rank, caste, and [his] wife and child, to take up the life of a wandering holy man in search of the answer to the problem of birth, old age, sickness, and death" just yet but some days it sounds nice...

Monday, February 20, 2006

Natural vs. Artificial

Why do people say things made by people are artificial? Why are we somehow outside of nature? Why is a skyscraper unnatural but an ant hill natural? Why is Nutrasweet unnatural while honey is considered natural? We made one, bees made another so why is there a difference?

Man-made is still natural in my opinion. Like yeast in an enclosed area we may be using up all the resources and poisoning ourselves to death but like the yeast, it is a natural process.

Monday, December 12, 2005

CCD camera, weather

I finally got a GOTO drive, a Vixen Skysensor 2000-PC, and a new CCD camera, an MX716 from Starlight Xpress. I also got an Optec Bessell V filter for some serious magnitude photometry of variable stars and supernovae. Of course the weather has been terrible since I got my new equipment but that's fall in southwestern Ontario I guess.

Weather was very cold this morning but I saw Mercury for the first time in years. I still love viewing the innermost planet, even though it is little more than a phase, more than half lit today. I used my quick view setup, an 80mm f/9.4 refractor on a camera tripod so I could set up, view and break it down before my fingers froze off at -17C.

Blogspam

I thought just limiting comments to blogger users would mean no spam but of course I was wrong. It's easy to sign up just to spam, apparently.

I've added word verification and moderation. If that isn't enough, Zero Light will be no more.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Up for over an hour already, no coffee and the kids will be up soon

The remnants of Katrina passed over us today. Not much rain but my wife likes to sleep with the window open and the light shower woke me up this morning so I thought I'd go check and see how much we'd received. Not much, as it turns out but I'm tired and my day has just begun. Must get the coffee on...

Looks like it will clear up well tonight but unless I get overtired I don't know if I'll be able to get the scope out. I really should, as 6 rolls of Konica Centuria Super 800 are itching for starlight in my camera bag.

I'm still flip flopping on what to do, camera wise. I know the right choice is to do film work for at least a while longer but as always, a replacement CCD camera or digital SLR is always something I want to get. They say film is more expensive in the long run but with the depreciation in value of DSLRs and the desire to upgrade every few years I think that is a false economy.

At least it is true that the longer I wait, the cheaper they get though thoughts of trading in my old FD system have just about gone as the value of manual focus equipment has really dropped. I could still get something for it on eBay but the pure buy-out value at Henry's was insulting. I'm told the trade-in value is better.

I could get a Digital Rebel with a lens for $1300 now which is pretty good. I could also get an FD/FL to EOS EF lens adapter(s, could get one with infinity focus and one for macro) to use my old telephoto lenses on it instead of buying new lenses right away; in fact, 1.26x for the infinity-focus adapter my 300mm f/4L lens becomes a ~400mm f/5.6 and this would be a good savings as the 300mm f/4L EOS EF lens is $1800. For family snapshots the included zoom autofocus lens would be great. Or I could just use my Canon FD cameras and lenses to spend no more money.

CCD: I'm thinking about getting a used ST-7 with a filter wheel -- this would allow me to do some serious work though the Hamilton RASC centre has a nice scope and CCD camera I could use without spending any money.

Went to the liquor store pondering some $80-150 scotches and got a $22 bottle of Forty Creek Barrel Select Canadian Whisky instead so I'm being a good boy!

OK, the coffee is on and my son is up. He wants to play Hot Wheels Micro Racers so I must forgo the fast computer for the slow one.